Turns out, writing about poker is as messy as playing it.

Garrett Adelstein’s memoir, 'Beneath the Cards,’ is more than just a retelling of his time at the felt. The interview covers how the infamous Jack4 hand served as the unlikely spark for the book, and how years of drafts and therapy notes shaped its story. According to Adelstein, even after all that, he still doesn’t feel like he has it all figured out.

He dives into his early days running up a million-dollar bankroll as a college student, only to lose almost all of it within six months. The conversation gets real about mental health, with Adelstein describing the cycles he went through and the emotional work it took to weather both poker’s swings and life’s bigger challenges.

'Harmony, not balance,’ is how Adelstein describes his approach to raising two kids while chasing poker glory. The interview touches on where he thinks the game is headed and why even the high stakes king doesn’t pretend to have all the answers.

If you’re looking for a neat ending, you won’t find it here. But you will get a rare look behind the curtain from someone who has seen both the highs and lows of the game.